Once again — here we are on another Phat Tuesday. Well, okay — technically this is the second Phat Tuesday. But, still — I feel like old friends.
I am not going to rehash a lot of what’s been going on the past couple of days — you can read all about here. But, for those not wanting to click on the link, here are the Clif’s Notes. My Dad has been in the hospital since Friday evening, he has a staph infection in his replaced knee and he’s having surgery today to replace his knee — once again.
I am a bag full of mixed emotions right now. Most of those feelings are for my Dad having to go through all of this, the recovery the last time was tough on him — but a third time? I wish I could relieve him of most of that pain. But, my name isn’t morphine and don’t come on command.
But, also the toll it will take on my mother — she’s been by his side since Saturday and I worry about her staying all night. She isn’t getting enough sleep. I am going to see if I can stay a couple nights the upcoming week. My work is about a mile away and there are places on campus I can shower if needed.
Otherwise — I know all will be okay regardless of the outcome. Sure, there’s the uncertainty of what tomorrow brings — but isn’t that every day life? There are no guarantees. And, I am at peace that all be okay in the end.
In addition to taking hospital visits I am also in the middle of my half marathon training plan. I hate saying this, but I am glad it is training for a half — if I was training for a marathon now I wouldn’t have the time to put the miles in.
But, since I am doing the Galloway Training plan I am running this weekend on Tuesday (today), Thursday (that would be the day after tomorrow) and Saturday (that comes the day after Friday and before Sunday). In addition to the running, I am working on getting my minimum 5 miles in on the FitBit.
I’m loving the Galloway plan so far — I haven’t ran yet this week — and that’s okay.
I did however walk just over 10 miles yesterday. A combination of running errands, commuting, running more errands and then walking to the hospital from work. It felt great — especially since I spent a lot of time listening to my stories (aka podcasts).
Though this hasn’t been the “IDEAL” jump start to the new year that I envisioned I still feel very much on track, focused and where my heart and mind needs to be. Family will always be first, but I feel balanced at the same time with my fitness goals.
This is a good place to be.
Happy Phat Tuesday!
And, as always — happy running!
UPDATE ON MY DAD
As it’s been noted in previous posts — my Dad was admitted to the hospital last Friday — a few days before his schedule knee surgery. He had a staph infection that spread to his knee and to make sure it didn’t spread to his other knee (both knee replacements) and the bloodstream his doctor ordered him to the hospital for an IV and round of antibiotics.
The past few days have been fairly hectic for the family, but we’re at peace with what’s in front of us. We’re not quite sure what’s in front of us — but, ultimately it’s all in God’s hands at this point.
My Dad should be having a full knee replacement surgery on his replaced knee today around 3pm — or so — if nothing changes. They’ll probably monitor the knee for a while to see if the infection subsides and when it does they’ll put the permanent parts in his knee.
Hopefully they’ll only have to do this with his left knee and not the other one. But, you can only take these kind of things day by day — like when my Mom fought her breast cancer three years ago.
But, on behalf of my family — especially my parents — I wanted to thank all of you for your thoughts, prayers and messages on behalf of my Dad’s health. They are much appreciated and felt. I’ll keep you all posted. Hopefully we have some good news tomorrow!
Monday’s FitBit numbers — lots of walking — purposeful walking and a wee bit of running. Not much since I spent most of the evening with my Dad at the hospital before his surgery today. Purposefully being active throughout the day and getting me out from behind the desk. Small actions bring big results. #Fitbit #steps #mileage #fitness #wellness #health #weightlossjourney #hypothyroidism #lowtestosterone #fitbitflex @fight4phat @phatjosh180 @joshuwalla @selfiejournal
A photo posted by Joshua O. Snow Hansen (@joshuwalla) on
FAT 2 PHAT RECIPE: BURRITO
I’ve been on a burrito kick lately — not a ‘eat all the burritos’ kind of kick. But, actually a ‘I want to eat a healthy burrito’ kind of crusade. As delicious as burritos are — they can generate more calories and fat than most cheeseburgers.
Sure they’re different kinds of calories and fat than a regular cheeseburgers — but calories are calories at the end of the day. And, the last thing you want is a regular gut busting burrito. Not cool.
But, like most foods — there are ways to get your kick without busting the waistline. That’s why I’ve been bookmarking a bunch of recipes the past couple weeks — so my diet feels less like a diet. Which is really the key to long term success.
Here is this recipe I found for an awesome looking chicken and avocado burrito. My mouth is just watering looking at the pictures. I think I need to make a bunch and freeze them for future lunches.
FAT JOSH 2 PHAT JOSH
COPING WITH ANXIETY — IN A HEALTHY WAY
This past week as our family has dealt with my Dad’s health — I’ve had a lot of feelings and emotions come to the forefront that I haven’t had for quite a while. Mainly anxiety of the unknown — it’s not unusual for me to have these feelings, mainly because I have general anxiety. But, some times are better than others.
While I am confident all will go the way it needs to with my Dad’s surgery and recovery — there’s still the unknown that lurks and sets off triggers for me. For anyone who’s dealt with anxiety, it’s hard to deal with those triggers. The best way I’ve found to deal with them is to recognize and avoid them.
But, most times — they’re unavoidable. It’s just the nature of life.
And, when faced with the task of dealing with them head on — you still have a choice on how it’s going to affect you. You can let it control you — or you can control it.
Before I began my weight-loss journey, I let anxiety control me. Mostly unknowingly. In social situations I let my sense of humor mask my feelings of awkwardness and inadequacy. My humor was very much self deprecating and I was not kind to myself.
In addition to the masking of feelings — I ate my feelings. I know that’s pretty cliche, but it’s true and it happened. Instead of going out with friends in college, I’d usually stay home and eat. And, when I was social, odds are food was involved as well.
Food and humor were my drug of choice to cure my anxiety and depression.
Except it wasn’t a cure. It just fed the anxiety even more.
When I hit my rock bottom on Graduation Day 2009 — I had enough. I had torn my graduation gown from simply sitting down during the ceremony. I had tried to make a joke of it — but, I couldn’t. I was too tired trying to be something that I wasn’t — or should be.
A seed was planted that day — not just for my future weight-loss change, but how I would deal with my anxiety.
After working on my fitness, running and self-esteem my first real test came in March 2012 when my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. When I got the news over the phone from my parents — I remember sitting there knowing I had two choices on how to respond.
I could sink right back into my self-destruction ways — or I could handle the unknown with faith, hope and a foot moving forward.
Luckily, I chose the latter.
In fact after getting the news of my Mom’s diagnosis the first thing I did was go run. It was probably one of the best runs I’ve ever had. I just poured out my soul to the road and the Lord.
And, that wasn’t the only time I’ve had similar runs. I ran after my aunt and Grandma were in the hospital and after they passed away. It was not only a time for me gather my thoughts, plead my heart, but also counter the anxiety of my initial feelings.
Now with my Dad’s surgery being today — I have plans for a nice, heartfelt and much needed run. I might have anxiety, but anxiety doesn’t control or rule over me.