Tag: running goals

43 Laps.

This past week I have been focusing on mentally preparing myself for the Jackpot Running Festival. Sure it’s in February. But, attempting to run 100 miles is something I’m trying to grasp. And, as much as I still need to put in the work physically — I have to do likewise mentally.

That is one reason why I did two half marathons this past Saturday and will do it again next weekend when I run the Snow Canyon and Joshua Tree Half Marathons. And, yet another reason why I have a number looooooooong timed training plans planned for December and January at the Olympic Oval — among other places.

I’m a very visual person. I have to see the end from the beginning, otherwise I’m lost. This is how I prepared myself for my first races in the 5K, half marathon, marathon and ultra distances. And, this 100 mile race is no different.

Over the past several months I’ve visualized my laps — not just the final laps, but the beginning and middle as well. I’ve visualized the pain I went through at mile 45 of my 50 miler and tripled that in the scope of how I might feel at miles 63, 82 or 96.

That final lap is what carries me. That’s what kept me optimistic this past race season as I’ve dealt with health and sprained ankle. And, let’s not pretend that I didn’t completely freak out in August that this wasn’t going to happen at all — so why even try?

But, that final lap made me believe it was going to happen.

In my attempt to further entrench the reality of what I am going to do, I decided to calculate the laps I will need to do for my 100 miles. Barring another washout of the course — the course should be 2.38 miles (last year it was 2.5 miles because the course had to be rerouted because of the flooding).

That’s 42.0168067 laps.

And, since I’m not quitting mid-lap, that’s 43 laps. Which makes my mileage for the race 102.34 miles.

I just have to do 43 laps. That’s it — 43 laps.

I can do that.

And, instead of viewing it as 43 2.38 mile laps, I’m cheating and viewing it as mile loops. Just 43 loooooong single mile loops.

I can do that.

It’s been a tough year for me. It’s sucked. Having a sprained ankle from April that has still given me problems has been beyond frustrating. I’ve been slower than I’ve wanted to be, my training has been tougher than I thought it would — and I have had my share of doubts.

But, as my running coach has reminded me — this race isn’t about being the fastest, it’s about doing what you’ve set out to do. And, that’s what I’ve been trying to remember and keep in mind.

This is about running 100 miles. This is about doing something that pushes me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. This is about doing something that was unimaginable for me to do not just 10 years ago, but even a year ago.

This is about so, so much.

And, all I have to do is run 43 laps.

43.


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Running in 2018 …

A couple of weeks ago, I blogged about my road to 180 races. My 180th race will be July 24th — pretty much SMACK in the middle of the year. So that means I’ve got January through July pretty much covered — but, what about the last half?

What’s after my 180th race?

That’s a good question.

While I am trying to figure out my 2018 race schedule, I’ve had a couple focuses — one, my 100 mile run and, two, not doing as many back-to-back race weekends of a half marathon or longer. I know that if I am going to faster, especially during my half marathons, I am going to have to scale back on the long races.

I don’t anticipate myself PRing next year. But, I am wanting to use 2018 to set the foundation to PR in 2019. Well, I shouldn’t just say PR, but to break my long time goal of sub-two’ing a half marathon. That’s the goal.

To work on that fountain, I plan on not just scaling back on the races — but, focusing on doing two races a month. Ideally, a half marathon and a trail race, a month. This would be on top of shorter training runs on the other weekends. Runs that I want to vary between a canyon downhill run, trail run and challenge run (a mentally challenging run — run uphill, midnight all night run, etc) — but, I’ll blog about that later.

I just want to challenge myself, get faster and mentally stronger in order to attempt and achieve my goal. A goal I’d love to meet at either the Nebo Half or Revel Big Cottonwood Half in 2019. Something that seems rather doable for me.

But, 2018 will have to set that kind of success up for me. So, while I am scanning UltraSignUp, UtahRunning.com, Running in the USA, RaceEntry.com and other registration websites I’ve come up with tentative schedule for 2018.

Remember these are only races 13.1 miles or longer. I am sure I’ll have a few 10Ks and 5Ks planned throughout the year. Also, races in bold are ones that I am registered for already. And, there are a few in the later months that are planned on a projected date.

So, yeah, here’s my schedule …

1 — Revolution Run, January 1, 2018
2 — Sun Marathon, February 3, 2018
3 — Jackpot Running Festival, February 16-18, 2018
4 — Strider’s Winter Circuit Half Marathon, April 7, 2018
5 — Salt Lake City Half Marathon, April 21, 2018
6 — Provo City Half Marathon, May 5, 2018
7 — Vigor Big Cottonwood Half Marathon, May 12, 2018
8 — Drop 13 Big Cottonwood Half Marathon, June 9, 2018
9 — AF Canyon Race Against Cancer, June 23, 2018
10 — Canyon to Canyon Half Marathon, July 14, 2018
11 — Bountiful Handcart Days Half Marathon, July 24, 2018
12 — Elephant Rock Trail Half Marathon, August 11, 2018
13 — Mt. Nebo Half, August 25, 2018
14 — Revel Big Cottonwood Half Marathon, September 8, 2018
15 — Park City Trail Half Marathon, September 15, 2018
16 — Corner Canyon 25K; October 13, 2018
17 — The Haunted Half – Provo, October 28, 2018
18 — Mt. View Trail Half Marathon; November 10, 2018
19 — Thankful 13, November 22, 2018
20 — The Bakers Dozen Half Marathon, December 8, 2018

If you are planning on running any of these races or would love to suggest other races for me to do, please comment below! I love discovering new races!


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I am soooooo close to my goal …

Wow. After this past weekend’s race — I realized that I am only 19 races away from my goal! NINETEEN! I’m in the TEENS! Time flies so fast. It’s hard to believe that I’ve been doing this now for over six years.

But, it’s also hard to believe that I am reaching this 10 year goal — three years early! Who would have thought? Who would have imagined the experiences I’ve had, races I’ve run and people I’ve met over the past years? I feel extremely blessed being able to do what I love and with people that I admire, look up to and gain inspiration from nearly daily.

Sometimes when I think and plan for the end of this 180 race goal — I have to remember that it’s not the end of running. Because it won’t be. I’ll keep doing it. I might be a bit more deliberate here and there as I shift focus, but I’ll still be running to my heart’s content.

But, as I look at the remaining races toward my goal, I’m getting excited. Many are races I’ve run numerous times, some a couple times a while ago and even a couple that I’ve never done. And, then of course there’s the Jackpot Running Festival where I am attempting 100 miles.

I am excitedly nervous about that race. I know I can do it. I know I will do it. And, despite the crappy year I’ve had with injuries and my health — I know it’s doable. I will be ready come February.

So there’s lots of running ahead before I reach the finish line at the Handcart Days Half Marathon next July — which I am looking forward to running! And, as you can see I am trying to be more deliberate with my running, especially after Jackpot. I am running any races 13.1 or longer on back to back weekends — well, except for Provo City and Vigor Big Cottonwood — but, I am planning on sweeping Provo City again, so I’m not really counting it.

But, I am planning on scaling back the races, not just to hit the 180th race in July, but to also get faster. I don’t expect to PR next year (though that’d be nice), but I do want to get back into the 2:20-2:30 range by the end of the year with the help of continued health and some specific coaching.

I am not sure exactly what my race season will look like after my 180th race, but I’d like to keep to two long races a month for as long as I can keep that up — and preferably a road and trail race.

I have some time to figure that all out. But, for now the focus is really Jackpot in February while also focusing on getting myself to number 180 next July.

Here’s my remaining planned schedule …


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RACE #161: Timp Elk Run

Well, let’s answer the question you’re obviously wondering — no, I didn’t see any elk.

Like none.

I hope that doesn’t keep you from reading further into my race report? In fact, I didn’t even really see any wildlife. Well, there was a dead mouse I saw at mile six. It wasn’t due to the plague — probably got ran over by a mountain bike? What a sad way to go.

Anyways — onto the other stuff.

This race was tough. It was over 3800 feet of climbing over about 13.5 miles. So, yes, it was a fourth of a mile over a traditional 13.1 half marathon. But, as tough as it was — I absolutely loved it.

I was running this race with Zack Winters from the Addict II Athlete team. This was his first trail run, so I planned on running with him and just enjoying the experience. In fact there were quite a few AIIA runners among the 25 or so runners doing the race.

Traveling to the race, I was a bit worried if I was going to be able to do it. Around the point of the mountain — I got absolutely nausea and just felt sick to the stomach like I haven’t felt for a while. I was pretty close to just turning around in Lehi — but, I kept going hoping that the moment would pass.

Well, it didn’t.

When I got to the race, I stepped out of the car and knew I was going to lose my breakfast. Which I did. My stomach felt better, but I wasn’t 100% at the same time.

I’m not sure why I felt that way — other than I just don’t eat that early or as of late until around 11am or noon with my keto diet. My stomach was just not happy with my keto food that early. This happened to me the previous two weeks — to a less extent. But, either way, I need to figure that all out, especially before this Saturday’s race.

Anyways — Zack wasn’t feeling too hot either with his stomach. But, we both decided to give it a shot. There was always the choice that we could do just the 10K if we still felt ill at the Mile 5 turn off. Which was very much on our minds.

But, luckily, at Mile 5 we felt much better so we decided to keep going. We had to keep going. Especially now that we knew we weren’t going to die.

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We were well into last place — which as usual — never matters to me. We picked up the pace a bit after we started feeling a bit better, but we were well behind the runners ahead of us. Probably by close to an hour?

Once we got to the half way aid station going into Dry Canyon we were met up by Christy (Zack’s mother) and Jed from the AIIA team. I stripped off my monkey hat and windbreaker and Jed joined us to help pace us to the finish line. I am so grateful Jed joined us, because it made a HUGE difference.

We were also joined by the sweepers — so it was a true party in the back as we hiked up Dry Canyon. This was the toughest stretch of the race as we climbed about 1,000 feet in about two miles. It was gorgeous, but it was a beast.

Once we reached Mile 9 it was a decent to the finish. Zack and I picked up the pace and took what we could take during the decent. There were a few areas that we just had to navigate carefully. Luckily, I had my hiking poles which helped a lot in the climbing and decent.

The last mile and a half was probably the hardest decent of the whole run. The pressure on my toes made it hard to navigate a points. With my big huge clown feet my toes were crammed in my shoes. It wasn’t that much fun.

But, luckily, that was just a mile and a half of the course.

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We finished in 5:45 hours — which was about 15 minutes longer than what we expected. Not bad. But, not hot either. It was a good 45 minutes faster than the Elephant Rock Trail Half from last month — so that makes me feel hopeful of my recent progress.

I’m sore, but my ankle isn’t bad. So that’s a win. Most of my soreness is in the toes and quads. Which I guess it kind of expected with the amount of climbing and descending we did during the run.

My next trail race isn’t until the Mt. View Trail Half Marathon in November — once again running with Zack. Luckily that one doesn’t include a lot of elevation change. It’s the same day as the Antelope Island 50K which I’ve done the past couple of years. It’ll be a fun race.

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But, before that I’ve still got a number of races to do — Jordan River, both Haunted Halfs, SoJo, Howloween Half and Snow Canyon. I can’t wait to tackle them — even though it’s still a lot of running.

Bring it.

I can’t wait.


MY NEXT FIVE RACES


Weekly Miles

Running Miles — 2.0 miles
Race Miles — 13.45 miles
Walking Miles — 17.78 miles
TOTAL MILES — 33.23 miles
Races This Week — Timp Elk Run.

September 2017 Miles

Running Miles — 16.0 miles
Race Miles — 39.65 miles
Walking Miles — 83.47 miles
TOTAL MILES — 140.12 miles
Races in September — (4) Revel Big Cottonwood Half, Huntsville Half, Timp Elk Run & Jordan River Marathon.

2017 Miles

Running Miles — 375.55 miles
Race Miles — 362.07 miles
Walking Miles — 1004.71 miles
TOTAL MILES — 1742.33 miles
Races done in 2017 — (23) New Year’s Half Marathon, Sweethearts 5K, Jackpot Running Festival, SL Tri Club Indoor Half, March Madness Half, Lucky 13 Half Marathon, Emigration Canyon Half Marathon, Riverton Half, Saltair Half, Provo City Half Marathon, Jordan River Half Marathon, Drop13 Half Marathon, Bear Lake Trifecta — Idaho, Wyoming & Utah, AF Canyon Race Against Cancer, The Hobbler Half, Handcart Days Half, DesNews Half, Elephant Rock Trail Half, Run Elevated Half, Nebo Half, Revel Big Cottonwood Half, Huntsville Half and Timp Elk Run.


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KETO UPDATE: One Month In

I’ve meant to post this earlier this week. But, thanks to not feeling too hot after my race this past weekend and working on that race recap, I’ve taken my time to get to get to it. But, that’s okay, it’s still relevant.

The past month has gone by pretty quickly — it’s hard to believe that I am a month into my 36th year. Almost as hard as it is to believe that I am 36. I mean, adults are 36. I have actually really loved my thirties, so I’m not complaining too much. It’s hard to believe sometimes how fast time goes.

I’ve been following a keto diet now for a month and I feel like I have finally gotten the hang of it. The first couple of weeks were kinda stumbling and bumbling while faking it until I got it. But, I think I got it?

I’m down -21.8 in the first month. Sometimes that I am, quite frankly, surprised and happy about. My body has really responded to the diet, which is something that hasn’t happened a lot in the past 2-3 years. It’s giving me hope that I’ll get where I want to be physically for my 100 mile run and future fitness goals.

It’s been hard dealing with my Hashimoto’s Disease, but this diet really seems to minimize many of the affects to my body. I have noticed a jump in my energy, attitude and hunger cravings. I’ve found a groove the past week, week and a half, that I haven’t felt in quite a while. I’m happy.

I know I have quite a bit of work still cut out for me. And, that’s fine — fine and fun. I am exercising 4-5 times a week, which includes a weight training class three times a week along with 2-3 runs during the week. This is all on top of my daily physical therapy for my foot — which really isn’t a workout — but, it is. I count it.

The changes that I have seen aren’t just with my energy levels, but I’ve seen changes physically as well. I am noticing the change in how my clothes are fitting and looking in the mirror. It’s a great feeling when you notice your pants slipping a bit off your waist.

I have also noticed the change in my appetite. I have included intermittent fasting into my diet, so I don’t eat usually until 11am to noon depending on the day and then eat my meals within about six hours of that first meal. I seriously don’t have any major cravings — which has surprised me. But, when you’re on spot with your fat — you shouldn’t be craving much or anything, especially sugary.

I am excited to see what this next month will hold for me. I don’t expect to lose another 22 lbs., but I’d love to lose another 10lbs. to put me over 30 lbs. lost since I started this diet. That’d be amazing, because I was hoping just to lose 30 lbs. in the 90 days I was planning on following the diet. I am well on my way to that goal.

I do have a few things to figure out about this diet, mainly about what I am going to do with it after the 90 days. I will be in Greece for a couple weeks in November and I am not planning on doing a strict keto diet while there — it’d really be impossible, especially since I am going back to the “homeland” and spending time with family there.

But, I want to continue to follow the keto lifestyle after my return. I am sure I’ll put on a little weight. But, I want to stick to it throughout the holidays. I am sure I will make a few adjustments here and there, but I have a couple of months to do my homework on that. But, I need to have it on my mind now as not to blind slide myself when I get back from Greece.

Anyways, here are my numbers along with my workout routine that I’ve been following for the past month …

START: 282.2 lbs. (8/16/17)
CURRENT: 258.4 lbs. (9/15/17)
OVERALL LOST: -23.8 lbs.

MONTH #1 START: 282.2 lbs.
MONTH #1 LOST: -23.8 lbs.

MONTH #2 START: 258.4 lbs.
MONTH #2 LOST: 0.0 lbs.

MONTH #3 START: 0.0 lbs.
MONTH #3 LOST: 0.0 lbs.

CLICK TO ENLARGE

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Looking Beyond 180 …

It’s hard to imagine that I am just 21 races from hitting my 180 goal. I knew this day would come, but when I made the goal — I honestly thought I would be pushing 40 a BIT closer than I am now. If you’re keeping track at home — I turned 36 just last month.

When I realized that I was going to hit this goal MUCH sooner, I decided to hit my 180 goal at the Handcart Days Half Marathon in July of next year. Not only was this my first half marathon, but it’s in my hometown and a part of a celebration that has a lot of meaning for me. It just seems perfect.

So that means I have 10 months to finish these 21 races and hit that goal. I am excited for that journey and whatever it brings — it’ll include my 100 mile run, a couple of marathons and some fun trail and road races.

But, I am also beginning to look beyond my 180th race. Some people have already been asking what will be after the 180? 300 races? 500 races? Will I go into triathlons? Will I focus more on ultras? Or just stop like Forrest Gump?

What?

Honestly, I want to be more ambiguous with my next journey. I don’t want to focus on the number of races as I want to focus more on the adventure. An adventure of collective goals — from PRs to destination races to destination places to run. If I’ve learned anything from the 159 races that I’ve done so far it’s that there’s so much more joy in the adventure than anything else.

I want more of that.

I thrive for adventure and I am excited to embrace that with more tenacity in the coming years. And, as I am reclaiming my health and thyroid, I look forward to getting faster and hitting some of those PR goals I’ve wanted to hit for the past few years.

Not only do I want to hit that sub-two half marathon time, but I still also want to run the Boston Marathon, New York City Marathon and of course — run at Walt Disney World (already got Disneyland covered). There are a lot of places around the country that I want to run. Places that don’t necessarily require a race bib either — the Grand Canyon, the Golden Gate Bridge, the National Parks here in Utah and the Salt Flats.

My plan is to take the next 4-6 months to come up with a bucket list of locations, races and other running goals I want to accomplish after I run my 180th race next July. I’ve made a similar list before, but I want to fine tune that — and probably shorten it a bit (it was about 50 items long). But, I then want to get to work on it!

I am always up for new races and places to run, so if you’d like suggest places to run — PLEASE! Just leave a comment in the comments below. And, of course if you have some fun and unusual goals I should attempt — I’d love to hear them too!

Running has been good to me. Really good to me. There’s been ups and downs over the last 6-7 years of my adventure so far, but it’s the people that keep me going and out there on the road or trail.


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It’s time to bet big … on myself

“I don’t like to gamble, but if there’s one thing I’m willing to bet on, it’s myself.”

Beyoncé

When I started running, I had no idea where I was going. I started because I wanted to lose weight and I knew it would help me in that goal. But, beyond that, I had no idea where it was taking me?

Less than a year into my weight-loss journey my trainer, Kevin, challenged me to run a 5K in the midst of a plateau. He gave it to me as a challenge to work towards. So, I put in the work and ran my first 5K. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t fast. But, I did it.

But, then something happened. I looked at my results and said — “I can do better.” So, I set out to train for another 5K. One that I could run that would be faster and much, much prettier. And, I did.

So, I just kept running trying to improve. This lead not just in the desire to run faster, but longer. Soon, I had my eye on a 10K which naturally lead to a half marathon.

Training for my first half marathon — I thought THIS would be it. This is the crowning achievement of my running career. The thought of running any further — especially a marathon — was unfathomable. I wasn’t a REAL runner, so I couldn’t possibly do that.

Well, after I ran my first half marathon in July 2011, I ran another and another and another. I got faster and actually enjoyed running 13.1 miles — then I started entertaining the thought of doubling that mileage.

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And, before I knew it I was registered for a marathon. A FREAKING MARATHON! That race distance that only REAL runners run.

Once again, I thought this would be my crowning achievement in running. When I crossed the finish line I could cross off the accomplishment on my bucket list and go back running half marathons, 10Ks and 5Ks. But, then something happened — I signed up for more marathons. And, before I knew it, I had run a total of three marathons by the end of the year.

By this time I had a goal to reach 180 races by age 40. So, I kept training and running. Along the way, not only did I enjoy the accomplishment of racing, but I made countless friends and created many enduring friendships. Running was changing my life in nearly every faucet of my life.

But, it hasn’t always been a smooth ride. It’s been quite tough at times, actually. Whether it was dealing with my Mom’s breast cancer, the death of close family members or battling my own health issues — the common denominator has always been — running.

Running wasn’t a way to escape reality, but a time I could deal with reality. Running gave me time to process the challenges. It gave me moments of reflection, motivation and inspiration. It was leading me where I wanted to go.

Nearly three years ago I started having problems with my thyroid once again. The health issues took me through a roller coaster of emotions. It was frustration being as active as I was — and feeling fatigued and slower. Not only that but I was slowly gaining weight after a years of maintenance.

But, I didn’t let (or want) those issues to stop me. They couldn’t stop me. I had a goal at hand. Plus, I knew if I stopped I would signaling the white flag of defeat — which I could never do.

So, I just kept running.

I was much slower. And, it took a harder toll on my body, especially in regards to my stamina. But, I was now one of the last runners to finish, but I kept going.

Around this time I looked for ways to keep me motivated. I knew just running wasn’t enough. I had to do something new — something that scare and motivate me all in one.

And, since I knew I wasn’t getting faster, I started looking at longer distances — ultra races. I knew a number of ultra runners who spent their weekends in Utah’s backyard and it always appealed to me. But, running anything longer than a marathon didn’t.

That lack of appeal eventually subsided and I found myself registered and committed to running a 50K. So, despite everything going on with my health — I trained for the 50K around a schedule of marathons and long runs. It wasn’t easy, but I did what I needed to do to prepare myself for the race.

When race day came I was lucky enough to run with some great friends that helped me get through those 30-something miles on Antelope Island. The last half of the race was spent trying to meet cut-off times, dodging stubborn bison and battling the dark after my headlamp died.

But, I made it. And, I earned the title of ultra runner.

The accomplishment felt like crowning accomplishment of my running journey. After spending over 10 hours running 30 miles of dirt trails — I couldn’t think of any reason why any sane person would do anything longer.

Then I remembered — I wasn’t sane.

Within a few months I got talked into running a 50 miler. I wish I could say it took a lot of convincing, but it didn’t. It was the first time I formally met Blu Robinson and Jed Jensen from Addict II Athlete and they casually talked about the 50 miler like a novice runner would about a 5K.

And, like any long distance race I’ve run, I found myself registered and committed to running the Pony Express Trail 50 Miler. The biggest selling point was that each runner was required to be assisted throughout the race. Meaning, I had a car stalking me — stocked full of fuel, water and food throughout the whole race. This basically translated to me that I wouldn’t die.

My training for the 50 miler was no joke. It was tough. I did a number of 20 milers, including one on a treadmill in the middle of the night. Not to mention a number of marathons specifically laid out to help prepare me for my 50 miler.

Once race day came I just focused on putting one foot in front of the other. I relied on my training and just focused on the goal at hand — getting to the finish line.

There were a lot of ups and downs — physically, emotionally and even spiritually. But, after nearly 17 and a half hours — I got to the finish line. I reached my goal — I ran a 50 mile race. I did something I felt at times nearly impossible, even just days before the race.

But, I made it.


“If you think you can — you can!”

Ronald Reagan

I really fell in love with the longer distances — for a number of reasons. Not only did I love the physical challenge, but I really learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about pain. Because that happens a lot during an ultra race.

I never cried as freely and openly as I did at mile 45 of my 50 miler. But, I learned how to process the pain I was feeling — and control it. Being able to manage and control pain is a remarkable feat and I believe a true test of one’s character. Ultra races were becoming great teachers to me.

Since that 50 miler, I have run a couple more ultra races. A couple weeks after that 50 miler I ran the Antelope Island 50K once again (cutting off nearly an hour on my time — mind you!), in February I ran 40 miles in 12 hours at the Jackpot Ultra Running Festival in Las Vegas and then there was my ill-fated Salt Flats 50K that I DNF’d last weekend. But, if I didn’t fall ill with the flu I would have tackled that beast!

My favorite ultra race so far has been the Jackpot Running Festival, I like the idea of a timed race on a looped course with the goal to see how many laps you can do within that time. Not only do you get an aid station every two miles or so, but you’re literally competing with no one else — but, yourself.

Jackpot has a number of timed races — a 6, 12, 24 and 48 hour race. They also had a 100 miler, marathon, half marathon, 10K and 5K, but most of the runners did one of the four timed courses. The winner of the 48 hour race managed over 210 miles.

Yeah, you read that right.

In fact there were nearly 30 runners who ran over 100 miles, including six runners who ran over 150 miles. Mind boggling numbers if you ask me.

I read all of these results as my legs were still recovering from my 40 mile run — and I couldn’t shake the feeling that “I could do this” from my conscience. Every time I dismissed the thought — it just came back stronger. Even when I reminded myself of the pain I experienced at mile 45 of my 50 miler — the feeling remained.

So, I did the only logical thing that came to mind — I signed up for the 48 hour race in 2018.

Yup.

I signed up to run my first 100 mile race.

Typing this makes it feel very surreal to me, even a couple months after doing so. I am running a 100 miles. The thought makes me want to pee my pants out of sheer terror and excitement all in one emotion.

I’ve kept my registration relatively private since February. I’ve told a couple of close friends and family members. Heck, this is the first that my parents are hearing of this news. It’s just been a lot to process and this is a HUGE goal and milestone for me.

I still have my doubts about my ability. And, I am sure others do too. Heck, my parents definitely do, because their fear of my running is that one day my legs will fall off.

But, I have to at least try. I have too.

I have to try.

I have to try.

I have to try.

I’ve journied so far from my first 5K — heck, from the couch itself — that I can’t stop myself now without trying. To borrow a phrase from a favorite song of mine, “If you never try you’ll never know, just what you’re worth.” (Fix You, Coldplay).

When I stepped on the scale back in 2009 to start my weight-loss journey, I started the journey accepting failure — and success. I didn’t know where my decision that day would lead me. I accepted the consequences to my decision to LIVE my life. And, it’s lead me here.

I don’t see this decision any different. I am accepting the possibility of failure with the determination of success. I don’t know what lays ahead for me in the next nine months — but I’m going to find out. I’ve got a training plan in the works that I fill will give me the chance of success come February.

The motto for the Jackpot Ultra Running Festival is “BET BIG. RUN LONGER” — it’s something that’s on their shirts and medals. And, it’s something that I took to heart during my run this past February — especially since I signed up for the 48 hour race.

I feel like I am betting big with this goal. I am betting big on myself. Because, this is a gamble. There’s no guarantee of success, but there’s also no guarantee of failure either. So, I’ve got to place my bet.

But, unlike casino gambling, I can control more variables to my advantage. I can control my effort. I can control my training. I can control my preparations — both physically and mentally. And, I can control the odds come race day. But, with a goal like this, it’s going to take much more than this — in essence, I am not just betting big on myself — I’m going all in.

So, all in it is!

As a reminder of this goal and the needed commitment and dedication I’ve been running with a poker chip on me since I registered for the race. Every run — training and race — I run with it on me. I’ve tucked it in my pocket, but I really should make a necklace out of it to keep it on me better.

But, it’s just this little $100 souvenir poker chip that reminds me of not just the 100 mile goal at hand, but the bet I’ve placed upon myself. I might be a cheesy little emblem, but in the three months that I’ve been running with it — it’s been my reminder to keep going, keep pushing and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I don’t dare say that this will be my one and only 100 miler. I’ve learned from my past that’s just a temporary lie I tell myself on occasion. But, I don’t know? And, I’m not worried about. My focus is simply on the journey in front of me.

This is a journey of a thousand miles. I know it will get daunting at times and there will be doubts. There will always be doubts. But, I know if I just focus on that footstep in front of me, it will take closer to my goal and a place I once dreamt possible.

It’s just up to me to take that next step.


“You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.”

Stephen King