If you know me (which I would think you would if you are here on my blog reading this), then you know I take a lot of selfies. If you don’t believe me, let me me prove you wrong …
And now if that doesn’t prove my point these should …
Heck, on April 1st I even took 100 selfies. And, if you’re wondering, no it wasn’t a joke (well, I guess it depends on how you look at it, right?). I kind of wanted to do it to see if I could. I know that doesn’t seem like sound logic (yep) … sooooooo … I guess you could say that I wanted to tap into my inner 14 year old teenage girl self?
Okay, bad analogy. But, hopefully you get the point? Maybe you get the point?
But, here’s the thing. 4-5 years ago … maybe even three years ago … you would have RARELY caught me in front of a camera. And, I really do mean rarely (if I was in a picture I rarely showed my whole body and you wouldn’t see me with a huge open mouthed smile) When you don’t feel good about yourself and the way you look, why would you want to capture that?
The sad thing about it is that I really didn’t even know I was doing it. It really was a manifested subconscious act. It was around this time that I also bought a nice camera. Were they pictures of me? No. I took pictures of everything else around me, except for myself.
And, I mean everything else.
For instance I took a week long trip once and ended up taking over 700 pictures. Some of myself, but it was like a 50 to 1 ration. In fact I remember one of my friends saying how they loved bringing me along on trips because I was like a personal photographer.
Which, I guess I was?
Here are a few pictures to prove my point …
The thing is, I wasn’t that bad either. In fact I graduated to a really nice Canon at one point with the idea of becoming a photographer (like everyone else on Facebook, right). But, it was around this time that I started my journey and I just lost interest in pursuing photography.
Well, the more that I lost weight, the more confidence I gained. At first I was still somewhat camera shy. It really wasn’t until I was under the 300s that I started taking more pictures of myself. The camera became less of a punishment and more of a celebration.
And, I’ve kind of kept that mentality since.
When I am taking pictures or selfies I am trying to tell a story. Whether it’s of myself at a race, work, church or elsewhere there’s always a story behind. But, more than anything I love sharing those pictures with others, because it’s when I am with others that I am the happiest. That hasn’t changed between Fat Josh and Skinny Josh.
(THERE ARE LITERALLY HUNDREDS MORE I WANTED TO POST HERE)
Over the past 4-5 years I have discovered such a deeper and meaningful joy in my life. I’ve learned to love and respect myself. I’ve learned to do things for me. I’ve learned to do hard things. I’ve learned to be the person that I knew I always wanted to be.
That 180 degree turn of the camera has made of a world of difference. That is why I will NEVER apologize for my selfies. It’s a celebration and reminder of where I have come from to here.
So, where is your camera pointed?