Ugh, ugh, ugh…I hate these kinds of posts


WARNING: This is kind of a whiny post. As you can tell from the title and the picture above it probably would be in nature. But, don’t worry, I am not entirely whiny in it. It’s also full of resolve and good positive things. I just really wanted to start it off whining (remember this is my blog and I make the rules). 

I’m fat.

Well, not as fat as I once was, but I am fat.

Just look at these pictures and tell me you can’t notice it on my face …

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Especially when you’re suppose to look like this …


Now, you might not see much of a difference, but I do. I really do. And, if you can’t … consider yourself blind. And, don’t tell me that I am beautiful in the inside either that never works on someone who’s been morbidly obese.

But, I hate this feeling. It’s kind of a buzzkill when you aren’t doing things you used to a much easier and faster level. It kind of sucks.

The past four months or so I’ve gained about 25-30lbs. Sure, my diet hasn’t been immaculate and my running mileage has gone down a tad after running my marathons in May and June … but … what gives?

Seriously, what gives?

I’m actually a VERY routine and somewhat boring eater. I have a protein shake for breakfast, a banana and hardboiled egg for a snack, a sandwich or something equal to that for lunch, some yogurt, fruit or veggies as a snack in the afternoon then a dinner.

I’m not eating fried chicken, hamburgers and chocolate bars for dinner. It’s usually another sandwich or omelet depending on my workout. I’m eating fairly clean. Meaning, I haven’t changed my eating habits dramatically as of late.

So what gives?

Well after talking to my parents, a couple of friends and such I tried to look back at what was has changed the past 3-4 months for me. The diet was somewhat unchanged and like anyone could be cleaner. So I cleaned it up.

But, after a few weeks I noticed it didn’t make much of a difference. In fact my weight just stuck there going nowhere. Well, except up.

So I knew something else was at play. I’ve had problems with my thyroid for the past five years or so, but I really didn’t think it was that because I just had it checked in March and I was fine.

But, the one variable I found that changed was my testosterone medication. I was put onto testosterone medication FOUR months ago because my blood work from the physical came back showing that I was fairly low. So my doctor put me on testosterone medication.

Every day I would shoot myself in the stomach with insulin and call it good. I must admit the first couple of weeks I felt a difference. But, after that I couldn’t really tell.

But, a few weeks after that is when I started noticing my weight going up and my energy levels plummet. I just thought it was my diet so I cleaned it up. I really didn’t really think the problem was my testosterone medication until about four months into me taking it.

Not wanting to go back to the doctor who diagnosed me with low testosterone I decided to get a second opinion. Luckily, I found a doctor that one of my co-workers RAVED about. He is a general family doctor who also dabbles in sports medicine. I thought it was perfect considering how much running I do.

So I set up my appointment for last week and went.

After telling him of my issues and concerns and my general background. I told him a part of me was kinda worried Fat Josh was coming back. But, I knew something else was at play. Was it my testosterone meds? Was it normal to gain weight like this? I didn’t know, and I needed to know.

The he beamed with a pillar of light.

It was my testosterone, but not how I thought it was affecting me. The testosterone medication was interfering with my thyroid medication and basically halting my thyroid medication. Thus, slowing down my metabolism and body. I was basically living life without a working thyroid again.

He also explained to me that testosterone diagnosis is also a recent medical fad. It’s the ADHD diagnosis for adults basically. There isn’t much research done to know how much you truly need compared how much is too much. And, then on top of that it’s a very popular drug pushed into doctor offices by drug companies.

So, instead of telling me that I didn’t have testosterone issues he pulled me off my medication and told me to stay with my thyroid medication. He wanted me to do this for six weeks and then come back in and get a full blood panel done to see if it made a difference.

If I didn’t see any difference in weight and energy then he wanted to test me for diabetes. Which, I then told him I was tested for that a couple weeks ago and came back negative. He was then more assured that this was my problem.

He told me to do what I’ve always done, keep running and to eat clean. He told me to watch the carbs to help with the weight loss. But, I should be fine in the process.

So, after my doctor appointment, I went cold turkey. No more testosterone medication. And, I’ve felt a difference. Good and bad.

The withdrawals haven’t been that fun. Mainly fatigue later in the day. But, on the other hand I do feel more energetic. I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but it probably will take me a little bit to get my stamina back up.

I have started watching my diet closer. I am TRYING to watch the carbs and have kind of settled on carb cycling. Which is mainly eating carbs around my aerobic and cardio exercising and then basically avoiding them when I am not. Simple really.

I am still planning on having a free meal each week. But, in order to get that I have to be 100% on my diet. I’ve done this in the past and it works for me. It gives me something to look forward to on the weekend and it makes my diet feel less restrictive.

The biggest  thing I am having a problem with all of this is my running. I REALLY wanted to be on the cusp of FINALLY getting my sub-two half marathon. But, I am not. And, now that I am three weeks away from Nebo I know I am not going to get it this year. Even though I’ve tried.

But, I am okay with that.

I really am.

Running is a process, much like life. And, if I have learned anything from life it’s that there are roadblocks to our dreams and goals. We might not get it on the first, second or third attempt. Heck, we might not get it on the 99th or 100th attempt either. But, the key is to keep on trying.

Even when there are setbacks like these.

But, still … ugh, ugh, ugh.





  1. You are a champ! I wouldn’t have been so diligent in finding out what’s wrong with me. I KNOW I’m diabetic, but i don’t take my meds. I hate medication and insulin! That’s why you exercise….. right? Ugh….

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